Thursday, June 2, 2011

Reflections on 2 years

2 Years
104 Weeks
730 Days
17,520 Hours
1,051,200 Minutes
63,072,000 Seconds

That's how long it has been since I have seen my family. 

June used to be a normal month for me.  Growing up it was the month we finished school.  Then I got married in June (the 24th to be exact), so it became the month of my wedding anniversary.  Now it's still the month of my wedding anniversary but it also has this looming feeling when it rolls around because it's also the last month I saw my family in. 

It's really hard to believe 2 entire years has passed since i've had a hug from my mom or had dinner at her place on a Sunday.  It sometimes feels like 2 years has flown by like a blink of an eye, then others it feels like it's been forever. 

In 2 years a lot has happened for me.  I've moved to a different country, i've had a baby and my oldest baby has started school.  I've moved house a few times, gotten a new car, started a new job and acquired 2 cats and 2 dogs.  I have a life here now.  Hubs also started a new job (a dream job), and got a new Car as well.  We have a house we love, kids we love, pets we love, cars we love and a life we love.  I should feel so full and happy with my life, but I don't think I ever will without my family here or being close to them. 

I've also made some amazing friends the past 2 years.  I have friends here that are there for me, and help me out a lot.  More than I could ever ask for an expect from people.  I am very thankful for them and will forever be indebted to them.  I have had a few friends here that have come and gone.  One in particular in a really pathetic way and now in hindsight I'm so glad we are not friends because this person is a very selfish person that I do not want in my life anyways.  But - I also have some amazing friends back in Canada whom I miss terribly and love so much.  One friend in particular is getting married this year.  I would cut off my limbs to be there for her.  She and I have been through it all together.  She knows me like no one else does.  I could not speak to her for years and I would bet all the money I have that things wouldn't change and we will always be the way we are.  It's an amazing and beautiful thing to have a friend like this.  One with no strings attached, and unconditional love.  She loves my girls as if they were her own and when she has kids I would imagine I'll love them like I love my own girls. 

There has been some events that I've obviously had to miss because of living so far away.  I knew that would be the case when moving here but I didn't anticipate how much it would hurt.  My grandpa turned 80 in April and it really stung knowing my family was together and we weren't there.  I try and plug through those hard times and carry on for the girls but it does take its toll. 

I'm unsure when I will get to go back home to visit.  All I know is that I love my family and friends so much and I can't believe it's been 2 whole years. 


Anonymous said...

Nicole, when you left here with Evie you left a hole in our hearts, that in my lifetime, will never be repaired.
I wish you nothing but the best and hope you are truly happy.
Love you more than words can say.

Anonymous said...

Nicole, reading this brought a tear to my eye. I can't believe it has been that long since you have moved and admire your strength for being able to do so. Recently we found out that there is a possibly thay we may have to move (within Ontario) for my husbands work and just the thought of being even 3 hours away from my family puts me in tears. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes.

Knowing that your family loves you so much, despite the distance between all of you is obviously what keeps you going.

Your courage and strength are quite incredible! I don't think I could do it and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Keep smiling for those beautiful girls!


miamihoney said...

Wow, I can't even imagine. I live a short 2 hr plane ride from my folks and it is are a trooper. I hope that you will get an opportunity to visit with your family soon. I know that you are very missed and that you miss them as well.

Samantha said...

So I've officially read your entire blog beginning to end and am so amazed with your strength and perseverance. I am in a similar boat that I picked up my life in May of 2010 and moved with my husband from Oregon, where my entire family resides, to California. I think you are brave to have tackled such a large change and have enjoyed reading about your journey!

Samantha M.

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