It's always an elephant in the room. It takes up my life sometimes, and often takes my breath away.
I often think "how the heck did I end up here and how has it been over 2 entire years since I have seen my family?".
My parents with Eve
My sister Brooke and I
I never dreamt that I would could miss people so much. It overwhelms me at times as to how much I can miss someone. I have never been away from the girls for any length of time, so I never understood.
Now I do. I understand. I understand why my mom was so heart-broken - and still is.
I would do absolutely anything in this world to hug my mom. We're close. I'm closer to her than anyone. Just the other day I had a "motherly" question and who did I call?...My mom. My very first instinct is to call my mom - always.
This next picture makes me more emotional than anything;
This picture says a thousand words for me. I feel the love in this picture. Eve and my mom are SO close. They have an unbreakable bond. I have that bond with my grand-mother, and I feel that with my mom and Eve. Theres a comfort and sense of home there. I get SO emotional just looking at this picture.
This cat is our cat Hope (Hopie). Hope now lives with my parents and sisters. I rescued her from a high-kill shelter in 2007. I couldn't bear leaving her with anyone but family and my parents were gracious enough to take her in. She's now a very very loved member of their household. I can't wait until I see her again.
Home to me is these next pictures;
My BFF, Elishia.
A Gingerbread house my sisters built with Eve at Christmas. Eve took bites out of all the cookies.
As much as I like the warmer weather here; wearing coats scarves & hats are part of home.
My sisters and Eve
Auntie Rachel with Eve at Great Wolf Lodge.
In May of 2010, my sister Rachel came to visit. It was the best month that I had had in a long time. I was going through depression and didn't really realize it at that stage, and it was so uplifting for me to have her here. Heres a few pictures of when she was here;
I can see the peace I felt then. I can see it in my pictures.
When Rachel left, I felt empty. I think it was worse than when I left Canada. I felt horrible.
I'm sorry that this post is all over the place, but that's how I feel tonight. I feel like my emotions are everywhere and I felt I need to write. This blog is about me, and you get the good, bad and the ugly. This is the ugly. This is my emotional state tonight, and i'm sharing it with you.